Surreal

Many years ago an occasional classroom may have had a resemblance to this scene:

Scene 3

In the classroom

Teacher. Quiet. (There is complete silence.) This is all very interesting – but not to the point. (Wilson screams with pain.) Who was that? Was that you Wilson?

Wilson. Sir, I was jabbed, sir.

Teacher. Jabbed?

Wilson. With a compass, sir.

Teacher. Who jabbed you?

Wilson. I don’t know, sir.

Teacher. Well go back to your place and make sure it does not happen again.

Wilson. Yes sir.

We know that a conversation like this can not happen today. In the first place where can we find a child who is going to call a teacher `sir’ on so many occasions? Secondly we expect our teachers to show more concern from the start.

We can translate the staccato rhythm of the conversation to the eleven plus.

Father. Have you done the eleven plus paper your mother asked you to do?

Wilson. I was waiting for you.

Father. Why didn’t you to complete the paper while I waited?

Wilson. ..