The Magic of the Eleven Plus

Today we are going to embrace the Eleven Plus Spell. This is a useful spell for any mother or father on the eleven plus road with just a few precious days to go. As a parent you should be able ease yourself into the eleven plus mood.

This is where it gets a bit hazy – which could possibly be dangerous for any one tempted into the world of magic. You have to decide if the eleven plus spell is for you or if it is for your child.

The Eleven Plus Spell for your child:

I wish my child can pass the eleven plus.
I wish my child will pass the eleven plus.
I wish my child has passed the eleven plus.

(Remember for a spell to come true you have to say it three times.)

The Eleven Plus Spell for Parents

Collect five pebbles and put them in a ring on the steps leading out of the house.

Place a candle inside the ring. (Ignore the ignorant neighbours at this stage.)

Lift a cup into the air and say:

“As the most auspicious day approaches I call upon the elements to bring fame and fortune to my child.”

If you are honoured with a clap of thunder you know that global warming is on the way. If the thunder is accompanied by lightening you know it will rain.

When your child asks you what you are doing simply smile mysteriously and say: “You are too young to know. I will tell you after the eleven plus.” (By then you will know if your spell actually worked.)