Eleven Plus Goals

“Mother, I am very grateful to you for all the eleven plus work you are doing with me. Can we sit down and chat about it?”

“Of course, dear, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well Mum. There are some things that I can do on my own. Yet you want to help me. But I don’t need any extra help on some things.”

“Oh dear. Do you think that I am interfering?”

“Well not always. But it is hard when you try to help with verbal reasoning. You know you are not as good as Dad. It just takes so much time when you try to work out the answers.”

“Well I am better at maths than your dad.”

“Of course, Mum. I was just saying that I would sometimes prefer to try on my own.”

“You are a clever and a sensible child. Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.”

“Mum.”

“Yes?”

“The other thing that I hate is when you tell me to set goals. I hate setting goals.”

“I don’t understand. You Dad and I are always setting goals. And they work!”

“But I always feel that the goals I set are the goals you want. If I have to set goals, why can’t I set them with out you trying to change them?”

“All right then. What gaol do you want?”

“I just want to get to level three on my Christmas game.”

(At this stage the play ends. The final scene shows a mother beating up her eleven plus child with a big pillow. Do children really know how to wind their parents up?)